self discovery

Be Inspired: 12.02.22

The practice is to learn how to love the entirety of who you are, with all its mistakenly perceived flaws, as well as the wholeness of what you are with all Its absolute imperfection.

~Dennis Merritt Jones








Wise Words: My Journey into Self Love

Self love. Easy to say. And yet the hardest thing in the world for humans to do.

My Journey

At some point along the way, I got crystal clear that I was going to do whatever it took to love myself and absolutely accept myself. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Vitally important to me was this deep compelling that I not set any conditions on that love. My observation is that so many hold off loving self or accepting self until they meet some arbitrary expectation or goal. It is part of modern life. Articles, blogs, media, all blasting messages at you, conflicting messages, on this topic. So much distraction. So much confusion. So much and so many telling you who you should be or not be.

I knew that I was absolutely committed to the idea that I would love myself “now” not wait for “then”. (In fact, I’m on record with a few friends.) Admittedly, it was not an easy task. As I made that choice, the choice to love myself, accept myself, waves of issues and then insights began to reveal themselves to me. Each time a new batch came up I was being asked to discern for myself, what does love look like in this situation? What’s the most self loving thought or action? Another opportunity for rising and renewing my commitment, to answer the call from the heart, with a vigor that I’ve never known before…

I fully intend to love and accept myself, unconditionally. To be so self loving and so connected to my source and the truth of my own sovereignty that whatever happens in my life I will have the fortitude and courage and love to face whatever I am confronted with. To be committed to my well being over all else, of course, without harming others. To agree to follow my inner knowing as my true guide, forging a path for my new and true me, cultivating my inner strength, allowing my intuition to give me the next small step for the good of the whole, honoring the wisdom that reveals it’s sweetness to me each day. Knowing that my connection to self cannot be broken by culture, that I am no longer bound by those intellectual messages that judge and bind. Being so clear that the world is a better place when it is filled with love. And the only place I have influence and power over that is within my own sovereign I AM domain. 

It was during these moments of being caught short and then coming to a new awareness that I made my greatest discovery. I realized how many ways I’d been carrying “wrong” around for my whole life. When I began looking at my life as an observer, I could see more clearly how others see me. I could see through the eyes of my family and culture and religion, how “wrong” I was. The wrong size, the wrong spirituality, the wrong politics, the wrong career choices, the wrong sexuality, the wrong approach to living life. It was overwhelming. Before that, I had just been living as if I were wrong. And it wasn’t even mine, even though I had taken it on as if it were. I believed it as if it were my truth.

I was suddenly so clear that those thoughts weren’t mine. Those beliefs weren’t mine. Those perspectives and judgments weren’t mine.

The clarity revealed my truth, my beautiful journey, my gifts. What a perfect soul set up, for in the process of letting go of being wrong (years and years and layers and layers), I realized not only how “right” I am, but how I just don’t have to care about any other opinion. It just doesn’t matter. I am only responsible for me, my own domain. Not theirs’. They are responsible for their domain. When you experience self love, deep and true self love, absolute acceptance of self, all of the rest of it simply dissolves and falls away. It has no charge. It has no trigger. There’s nothing for it to stick to. Others can have opinions, but they don’t get a vote, they don’t have a say in my life. They have no authority. In the wake of that there is freedom. Absolute freedom. Freedom from the voices of culture and mass consciousness, freedom from the agendas of others, even those agendas dressed up as prayers, claimed to be made for you in the name of love.

Though justification isn’t necessary, I also discovered that it all had a reason for being. Every experience was perfect for the life I was here to live. The negative stuff, the challenges, the struggles, the tensions in relationships. All of it was part of the beautiful soul design, the bits and pieces that reveal insights and wisdom. I needed only to turn the kaleidoscope to have that perspective. To open my eyes and ears, take a deep breath and trust myself. It’s all such a beautiful experience, if you allow it to be. And of course, it’s much sweeter with so much of it in the rear view mirror!

Self Love in Practice

Self love is a choice. Every day. Until it’s just the way you are. At first it takes a little self discipline and practice, and then more practice. And then at some point it is the radiant light that shines out from within and cannot be dimmed.

We expect others to love us, love our bodies. But what about you? Do you ever gush love at your body? See it for the beautiful home where you reside? The Treasure it as the temple of your soul? Thank it for being the reliable vehicle that moves us around reliably and gracefully in your world?

We expect our lovers and partners to caress us, to be tender and affectionate, to nurture us, but what about you? Do you ever do that for yourself? Luxuriate in a warm bath…massage your feet with lotion…look lovingly at each part of your body and appreciate it’s beauty?

Self love is this and so much more. It’s catching those voices in your head at their games, the ones that bully and berate you. It’s putting your foot down once and for all, saying “No more! Enough is enough!” Self love is stopping the barrage of insults you hurl at yourself for how you look, how you behave, what you lack, how you’re not enough. I’m pretty sure you bristle at others’ judgement of you and that you would never accept someone else shouting hateful things at you or someone you love. Then, why do you allow it from yourself? Self love is looking upon yourself with the same compassionate and gentle eyes through which you see others.

Nurturing and caring for yourself are expressions of your love for you. There are so many demands on us. Things in this world can get pretty intense, at times. We get so wrapped up in our lives, we have a tendency to forget about ourselves. Even when we want to do what we would call “good” things for ourselves or our health, they can turn out to be so demanding, rigid, pushy, harsh.  I invite you to slow down … to take time …  to treat yourself. Being bold and courageous, choosing to put yourself first. Prioritizing spending time just you with you.  To fill yourself back up from the wellspring within. Relaxing. Rejuvenating. Balancing. Loving.

If you’re one who thinks of these things as selfish instead of self-full, and need a little extra incentive, then think of the beautiful model and example you’ll be for the people in your life. It doesn’t have to be a grand event, a trip to the spa.  It can simply be 15 minutes or an hour doing something for you, whatever suits you. Then, you can give yourself permission to work up to unabashed SELF-FULL-NESS!

We are sensual beings, SOIndulge your senses. What would please you? Here’s a few ideas to get your imagination going:

  • Try a new candle with your favorite scent.
  • Take some good deep breaths and relax, whenever, where ever.
  • Read a book by an author you love.
  • Buy some delicious chocolates to savor.
  • Listen to your favorite tunes and dance a little in your living room.
  • Find a beautiful and quiet place in nature to take a stroll.
  • Buy yourself a little bouquet of flowers for your bedside.
  • Let go of the “dietary should and shold nots” and eat a meal that tastes great to you.
  • Enjoy a soothing bath with bubbles or salts.
  • Sit in your favorite chair with a glass of lemonade or cup of tea.

Ahhhh… Are you ready?





mug shot self love by jessica sackett



Be Inspired: 02.18.21

It takes courage… to endure the sharp pains of self discovery
rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness
that would last the rest of our lives.

~Marianne Williamson




the stone of light saved from mineralists


Wise Words: The Past Is Present

[Originally posted 02-06-2015]

As I’ve stated before, for many people, the past isn’t really the past, it isn’t history. It is the present. When there is an emotional wound or unresolved issue, it lives in the present moment. The original hurt, trauma or fear gets recreated and repeated. Essentially it’s relived again and again in one’s current life. It shows up in relationships, at home and at work. There it is. The past is [the] present.

You’ve heard the phrase “same shit, different day.”

The physics of it are simple. You magnetize to you a match to what is active within you, what you believe, what you focus on. Energy begets energy. These simple truths largely shape your reality.

Here’s another…


Recently my laptop went blank and then would not restart. Mercury is in retrograde after all. I tried a few tricks, but knew what I really needed to do was just pull the battery and begin again. It always worked with my old laptop. I was hesitant, however, because I had tried to pull the battery on this computer, but couldn’t figure out how to do it and had given up. To repeat that felt silly. Plus, the need to get at something on my computer, fairly quickly, was making me more determined.

I retrieved my folder containing all of the laptop information. There wasn’t much there, but all I needed was information on how to remove the battery. I opened the thin 3 page pamphlet which showed a few illustrations and even fewer words. But there it was. Once I saw it, it was so easy. And in this one sentence the profane becomes the profound. Once I saw it…that’s the key. Perception or perspective is reality.

What was impossible (removing the battery) suddenly became possible (removing the battery). The problem was that I kept looking at my new computer as if it were my old computer. I could only see how to remove the battery the old way. I wanted it to work the old way. And that was impossible. This computer didn’t work like that. So I couldn’t see the solution.

How often do we approach problems, issues, relationships in just this way? And in so doing, drag the past right into the present?

And so we stay stuck in the past…in the present….


Precious Story

We all have our stories we like to tell. Feel compelled to tell. Can’t help telling. Tell over and over again. Indeed, that was my history. I had stories that I would tell everyone. I couldn’t help myself. Everyone had to know my stories. I clung to them like a child clings to her blanket. They were precious to me. I took them on as my identity. I proudly claimed them as my own. I expanded them, embroidered them, cherished them.

Somewhere along my journey I had the eyes to see this habit. I became the observer of them. I developed the ability to stand back and see myself. I could see/feel the need to tell the story building within me. See myself telling the story. See people reacting, in a wide range of ways, to my story. Soon they didn’t feel so much like “my” story but “a” story.

In the end, it was clear that I had to explore the stories. One at a time, I delved into their origins, got at the roots. I feasted on them in order to know myself and just as much to know who I was not, or was no longer. I discovered, over a long period of time, that in the beginning, telling the story, knowing what happened in the past was filling a need. A coping mechanism. It was a way to own it, claim it, open my eyes to my experiences, rather than be in it with eyes closed, at the mercy of it. Telling the story felt powerful. It revealed a new level of truth to me. So, too, when that need is filled it’s time to let it go. I was not. I was reliving it over and over. I was propping up my identity with it. The story became stuck. I was now a victim to the story. What was once precious was now my prison.

Eventually I had to choose the compassionate way. To see, to feel, to know the past with clarity. Eyes and heart wide open. Glean the wisdom. And then let the story go. Stories can change. Or end. Truly.

As Adamus says, “The past isn’t what you think it is.” I now know things are always more than they seem. Multi-layered. Multi-faceted. Many perspectives. It is up to us to receive the wisdom and release the rest. Release the details, release the minutia. Give it its freedom, allowing it all to serve us. Where the past, history, our stories are concerned, there is a fine line between wisdom and wallow.

Where once we were victim, we now are wise.

Where once we were weak, we now are strong.

Where once we looked outside of ourselves, we now look within.

Where once we sought, now we know.

Want to see this in action? Watch the movie Groundhog Day. You can see Bill Murray’s character wake up and begin to rewrite his story. He’s self-serving and manipulative at first, but then real personal transformation takes hold. So beautiful!


Playing with the Past

If the past is just a story, really, one version of how things happened, then can’t we consider it somehow fluid? Couldn’t we play with it? I have used this idea on a number of occasions to overcome a pain from the past. You can rewrite history or rewrite your story. Here’s the gist…

When something from your past causes some concern for you…guilt, hurt, frustration, stuckness…rewrite it. Take this bit of history that has plagued you and turn it into something pleasant, empowering, or productive, whatever you choose. You’re the creator.

Try it for yourself…

Find a comfortable, quiet spot. A place where you feel safe, supported. I like to make a cup of tea, grab a soft throw and sit on my couch. Relax. Take some good deep breaths. Clear your mind of the day’s duties. Then conjure up the memories. Tell yourself the story. Remind yourself of the details. Feel all of the feelings that go with it. Sit with that for a bit.

Now, give yourself permission to rewrite that story. Take a deep breath. Loosen the grip you have on the old version. Allow yourself to go beyond the mind, beyond the old story. Begin to get clear about how you want it to go in this new version. Imagine the details. How would you want to feel? What do you want to experience? What is the outcome you prefer?

If this is challenging, you might try a tactic I use to help me get clear. I imagine the story as a photo snapshot. I’m very visual, so I give the story a picture. Then I imagine that picture on a chalkboard or a white board. And then I erase it. I just wipe it away. Simple? Works for me.

Once you have a sense of the new story, take a deep breath and dive into it. Let yourself feel it as if it is real. Picture it. Hear it. Walk through it. Live it in your imagination. Feel it in your body. Experience it.

Take a deep breath.

Congratulations! You’ve just rewritten history.

Wait…what’s that I hear???

Are the doubts coming in? Are you questioning it?

OK…here’s what I know…

Your perception is reality.

You’re the creator.

Everything is energy. [Except you. You are a sovereign souled being.]

This is all a very real, very important illusion.


You have just shifted old potentials, cleared out old energies that no longer serve you, and allowed new potentials to come into your reality.

If you allow it to be so, then it is.


Can you allow it? Can you put those doubts in their proper place…tell them to sit down and shut up?

It’s up to you.

What do you have to lose?

…nothing but your old worn out stories.

Watch what happens. You might be surprised.

This is when it starts getting fun! That’s why I call it playing with the past…not working.

Now, in the wise words of EN VOGUE from their 1992 hit song:

“Free your mind and the rest will follow.”