via sweatpants and coffee
The butterfly does not look back at the caterpillar in shame,
just as you should not look back at your past in shame.
Your past was part of your own transformation.
The truth will set you free.
But first, it will annoy you, confuse you, piss you off and disrupt your life.
Believe it or not, that’s the good news.
Coming into awareness of the truth, of who you truly are, and just as importantly, who you are not, what’s yours and what’s not yours, ultimately opening your eyes to your sovereignty, will set you free.
Simply put it IS freedom.
In order to live as your authentic self you’ve got to see clearly the patterns and perspectives that no longer serve you and no longer align with you, letting them break apart, dissolve and clear. You don’t have to process them to death. That only makes them stick. Just take a deep breath. Thank them for the wisdom and experience they gave you. Choose to let it all go and then do. Simply release them.
In the wake of your clarity and heartfelt choice, you will experience change. The changes will be at multiple levels and layers, including, mentally, physically and emotionally. Allow the structures and patterns of the old ways to topple and fall so that the true you can emerge and become real in your life. Some days this will not be easy. You may curse me and you for choosing to begin this process. But you have called for it. It is happening as it should. Not because of fate or destiny or karma, but because a deep longing in your heart. You, the creator that you are, said, “I know there is more! Bring it on!”
I’m certainly not promising sunshine and rainbows. Personal awareness and growth can be disruptive, intense, and dramatic. Things can feel like they’re getting worse, before they feel like they’re improving. But, even that depends on your perspective. If you see things as if nothing is wrong, rather everything is happening for a reason, your experience will be smoother and easier. What I can promise is that you’ll ultimately feel and be freer and more authentic than ever before. And isn’t that worth some discomfort? It was for me!
In the beginning, it takes a while to see things differently, to see beyond the patterns. Even when you WANT to see, clarity may still elude you a bit. These are layers upon layers you’re dealing with, years in the making. It requires the trust of self to hear the doubts and move forward anyway. Take heart. Once you become aware of something, you can never become unaware. And a huge percentage of personal growth work is awareness.
This work is not formulaic. We each have our own unique experience. That said there are some commonalities. Change is certain. You’re making fundamental shifts which will affect yourself and others close to you. Your priorities, your relationships, how you interact with the world, your energy level, and your mood may all shift and change. The path of conscious transformation isn’t a straight line starting at point A and ending at point Z. It’s more like a spiral staircase, possibly giving you an unsettling feeling of déjà vu. Or, even causing you to feel discouraged because you feel you are back where you started or at some earlier point on your path. Indeed not. You’re simply opening to a layer requiring greater insight and awareness. Can you see it as an opportunity for greater wisdom? As you do the work, you’ll most likely peak and plateau. You may feel wobbly and uncertain, like the ground beneath you is shifting. All of this is normal. Please know that it’s part of the process.
I know it from personal experience that it would feel worse, if nothing were changing, if you continued to feel stuck in old patterns you are saying “no more” to. The less you resist, the easier the experience will be. Resistance causes friction and pain in the mind and body. I speak from experience. The more I got into a place of deep trust of Self, the smoother things went. It definitely takes practice. It takes discipline. But it can be done. Remember to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Do the things that support self care. Any discomfort you experience will pass. Try not to judge yourself.
For now, take a good deep breath and give yourself credit for taking conscious steps into awareness of the grander You. I predict that when you look back on this time you have chosen for awareness and transformation and you will consider even the toughest of times as precious.
Remember, you called for this change, this freedom. Hurrah! Now comes the time to dive deep into self, clearing and releasing all that is no longer yours, making way for the true you to emerge and be present in your life.
May this grand and unprecedented time of transformation serve you gracefully. I add my Light, compassion and blessings to your grand and beautiful journey.
Self love. Easy to say. And yet the hardest thing in the world for humans to do.
At some point along the way, I got crystal clear that I was going to do whatever it took to love myself and absolutely accept myself. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Vitally important to me was this deep compelling that I not set any conditions on that love. My observation is that so many hold off loving self or accepting self until they meet some arbitrary expectation or goal. It is part of modern life. Articles, blogs, media, all blasting messages at you, conflicting messages, on this topic. So much distraction. So much confusion. So much and so many telling you who you should be or not be.
I knew that I was absolutely committed to the idea that I would love myself “now” not wait for “then”. (In fact, I’m on record with a few friends.) Admittedly, it was not an easy task. As I made that choice, the choice to love myself, accept myself, waves of issues and then insights began to reveal themselves to me. Each time a new batch came up I was being asked to discern for myself, what does love look like in this situation? What’s the most self loving thought or action? Another opportunity for rising and renewing my commitment, to answer the call from the heart, with a vigor that I’ve never known before…
I fully intend to love and accept myself, unconditionally. To be so self loving and so connected to my source and the truth of my own sovereignty that whatever happens in my life I will have the fortitude and courage and love to face whatever I am confronted with. To be committed to my well being over all else, of course, without harming others. To agree to follow my inner knowing as my true guide, forging a path for my new and true me, cultivating my inner strength, allowing my intuition to give me the next small step for the good of the whole, honoring the wisdom that reveals it’s sweetness to me each day. Knowing that my connection to self cannot be broken by culture, that I am no longer bound by those intellectual messages that judge and bind. Being so clear that the world is a better place when it is filled with love. And the only place I have influence and power over that is within my own sovereign I AM domain.
It was during these moments of being caught short and then coming to a new awareness that I made my greatest discovery. I realized how many ways I’d been carrying “wrong” around for my whole life. When I began looking at my life as an observer, I could see more clearly how others see me. I could see through the eyes of my family and culture and religion, how “wrong” I was. The wrong size, the wrong spirituality, the wrong politics, the wrong career choices, the wrong sexuality, the wrong approach to living life. It was overwhelming. Before that, I had just been living as if I were wrong. And it wasn’t even mine, even though I had taken it on as if it were. I believed it as if it were my truth.
I was suddenly so clear that those thoughts weren’t mine. Those beliefs weren’t mine. Those perspectives and judgments weren’t mine.
The clarity revealed my truth, my beautiful journey, my gifts. What a perfect soul set up, for in the process of letting go of being wrong (years and years and layers and layers), I realized not only how “right” I am, but how I just don’t have to care about any other opinion. It just doesn’t matter. I am only responsible for me, my own domain. Not theirs’. They are responsible for their domain. When you experience self love, deep and true self love, absolute acceptance of self, all of the rest of it simply dissolves and falls away. It has no charge. It has no trigger. There’s nothing for it to stick to. Others can have opinions, but they don’t get a vote, they don’t have a say in my life. They have no authority. In the wake of that there is freedom. Absolute freedom. Freedom from the voices of culture and mass consciousness, freedom from the agendas of others, even those agendas dressed up as prayers, claimed to be made for you in the name of love.
Though justification isn’t necessary, I also discovered that it all had a reason for being. Every experience was perfect for the life I was here to live. The negative stuff, the challenges, the struggles, the tensions in relationships. All of it was part of the beautiful soul design, the bits and pieces that reveal insights and wisdom. I needed only to turn the kaleidoscope to have that perspective. To open my eyes and ears, take a deep breath and trust myself. It’s all such a beautiful experience, if you allow it to be. And of course, it’s much sweeter with so much of it in the rear view mirror!
Self Love in Practice
Self love is a choice. Every day. Until it’s just the way you are. At first it takes a little self discipline and practice, and then more practice. And then at some point it is the radiant light that shines out from within and cannot be dimmed.
We expect others to love us, love our bodies. But what about you? Do you ever gush love at your body? See it for the beautiful home where you reside? The Treasure it as the temple of your soul? Thank it for being the reliable vehicle that moves us around reliably and gracefully in your world?
We expect our lovers and partners to caress us, to be tender and affectionate, to nurture us, but what about you? Do you ever do that for yourself? Luxuriate in a warm bath…massage your feet with lotion…look lovingly at each part of your body and appreciate it’s beauty?
Self love is this and so much more. It’s catching those voices in your head at their games, the ones that bully and berate you. It’s putting your foot down once and for all, saying “No more! Enough is enough!” Self love is stopping the barrage of insults you hurl at yourself for how you look, how you behave, what you lack, how you’re not enough. I’m pretty sure you bristle at others’ judgement of you and that you would never accept someone else shouting hateful things at you or someone you love. Then, why do you allow it from yourself? Self love is looking upon yourself with the same compassionate and gentle eyes through which you see others.
Nurturing and caring for yourself are expressions of your love for you. There are so many demands on us. Things in this world can get pretty intense, at times. We get so wrapped up in our lives, we have a tendency to forget about ourselves. Even when we want to do what we would call “good” things for ourselves or our health, they can turn out to be so demanding, rigid, pushy, harsh. I invite you to slow down … to take time … to treat yourself. Being bold and courageous, choosing to put yourself first. Prioritizing spending time just you with you. To fill yourself back up from the wellspring within. Relaxing. Rejuvenating. Balancing. Loving.
If you’re one who thinks of these things as selfish instead of self-full, and need a little extra incentive, then think of the beautiful model and example you’ll be for the people in your life. It doesn’t have to be a grand event, a trip to the spa. It can simply be 15 minutes or an hour doing something for you, whatever suits you. Then, you can give yourself permission to work up to unabashed SELF-FULL-NESS!
We are sensual beings, SOIndulge your senses. What would please you? Here’s a few ideas to get your imagination going:
Ahhhh… Are you ready?
mug shot self love by jessica sackett
Dignity – the respect, love, and acceptance of yourself – is a natural state.
You don’t have to work at it. Just choose it and allow it back.
~ Adamus St. Germain
When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the façade, and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.
Don’t take life too seriously.
Sometimes you just have to laugh at your problems knowing it’s not the end of everything.