Wise Words: What to Expect, Part 1

So you’ve committed to doing the work…the work of you. Now what?

Many people in the self-help, self-improvement, feel-better movement focus only on what they promote as the result of change and transformation. Few, though, talk about what to expect when you are going through, doing the work of, change. Fewer still, talk about why those changes occur the way they do.

The experience of change and transformation is a unique one. As unique as you, unique as each of us. It is not formulaic. There are many paths, many books, many classes, and many teachers that all basically propose ending up at approximately the same place. That said, there are some common experiences.

I’m going to take a few posts to talk about the ones I’ve experienced and studied.

Any time you make a new choice, make a clear decision, not from the head, but from the heart and the passion, you are creating.

Important tangent:  It’s a funny thing, but sometimes the reasons your fears and anxieties come to fruition, instead of those fluffy affirmations, is because there’s more “juice” behind the fear or anger or worry or even the momentum of a pattern that has years of cycling energy behind it. When people recite affirmations, for some (this may not be you), they’re trying to will or convince themselves of it. There’s not a lot of passion behind it. But the doubt or worry that sits just behind it, really gets your juices flowing. Nervous stomach, spinning monkey mind, shallow breathing, etc. You know the feeling. You’re charged up, juiced up, worried. There’s lots of fuel there.

Anyway, you make a clear choice. You’re inspired. It feels great! That delicious wave of passion, creativity and new insight is rushing toward you like a giant wave. Surging through you. It’s electric. There’s a smile on your face. You have a bit of a high from the rush of it. You feel as though you could conquer the world. Know this feeling?

And then…

You wake up the next day, or a few days later, and it feels as if it never happened. You ask yourself where that wonderful feeling of certainty and excitement went. Something has changed. Been there! Maybe you feel empty or like there’s a void. It’s been described as gray or flat. In the wake of this you may feel confused. You begin to question yourself. What’s happening? If you’re like me, for years, I erroneously concluded that I had done it wrong. I didn’t! You didn’t!

There are several moving parts to creating, which is what you’re actually doing when you make a choice. Whether you know it or not, you are ALWAYS creating your life. So, first, you as the powerful creator that you are, make a choice and set the creation in motion. All the energies, resources, people and timing begin to line up to support your creation. Then, everything that is not a match to your choice/creation must go. So they must deconstruct, dissolve, fall apart. (Your perspective will flavor how you describe it!)

A couple analogies to help you see it…

You can’t build a brand new building where an old outdated one still stands. It must come down. The old one no longer serves you and you’re ready to build a new one. So here comes the wrecking ball. BAM! CRASH! Down it goes. You could say it’s falling apart or you can say it’s being removed so the new one can be built. Your choice.

The garden analogy works, too. You can’t successfully grow a garden in a weedy, rocky field. You must first remove the rocks and pull the weeds; clear the space so that something new can be planted. Then you till the soil and add nutrients. Only now can seeds can be successfully planted and begin to grow and thrive.

A little more about the two extremes in feelings/experiences…

Friends and I have been studying the processes involved with creating and manifesting for years. We eventually began to see that there was this experience we would consistently have as we would be actively creating something new. I described it as being in brackish waters. Brackish water is the result from the mixing of seawater with fresh water, as in estuaries. It’s the place where both exist, simultaneously. In my experience with change and transformation, I feel it when both the old and the new are in my world at the same time. The old ways, structures, haven’t fully cleared or dissolved yet, and the new has begun to be manifested, but hasn’t fully taken hold. It’s still unfolding. If you don’t know that this is what is happening, it can feel unsettling. It’s where doubts can creep in. I still have to be reminded sometimes!

Big Picture…and little picture…

If you take a step back and look at current events through this lens, you can see it happening all over the world, too. Large systems are breaking down, faltering, coming apart at the seams and inspired new ideas coming forth in the wake of it. As, my friend, Barbara With speaks of in her powerful workshop called Conflict REVOLUTION, your experiences are happening to you in the microcosm, on a small scale, and in the macrocosm, the same thing is happening, but on a global scale. This consciousness of transformation is scalable. Which is why peace on Earth, is possible, one person at a time!

Next post I’ll talk more about what comes up for us when we make a change. I’ll focus on the emotional issues, which are often things from our past getting recreated as patterns. The issues reveal themselves so we can break the patterns, clear them out of our way and allow our grander creations to come forth.

Want to learn more about Conflict REVOLUTION? Click here.conrev logo 2

Upcoming Event | Click here to register


 white flowers 2

Header Image found on Etsy | The Motivated Type

White Flowers by Tom Seliskar



One comment

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s